Skip to main content

Followers

Follow by Email

Search This Blog

The Clown is no longer Happy

"It is show time," said the circus manager in a very loud voice so that all of the performers will hear him. "Where is the clown?" again he shouted. A fragile colorful figure approached the circus manager and said: "I am here." "Cheer up, asshole!" Said the manager angrily when he heard the sad voice of the clown. The clown smiled from ear to ear and answered "Sure, Sir!"

He entered the vast area where hundreds of people were waiting for him to show up. The started to clap and cheer once they saw him. Lights were spotting him moving a funny way throwing colorful balloons that spread all over the audience. He started to run all over the place and jump in a funny way. Kids started to laugh and clap as the apparently cheerful clown made his funny moves. He kept acting happily for an hour and his audience were deceived by his appearance but nobody really cared for the sad clown, he knew that. 

His performance came to an end and he went to his room. On his way, his teammates were whispering that he is the luckiest one, he is always happy and he always is the star of the shows. The clown heard their whispers but did not pay attention to them, he wanted only to stay in his room.

He entered his cheerful colorful room, it was decorated with balloons and little puppets all over the walls. He sat in front of the mirror and he stared at the colorful clown who stared back at him. He looks happy and successful, everyone thinks him to be happy and lucky. The paint on his face was covering the very dark circles around his eyes that revealed his deep sadness. The fake smile covered the deep pain he felt.

"It is amazing how appearance can fake the reality of people!" He thought. Nobody knew that he was dying inside and even his best friend did not believe it! "You sad! Stop it!" Said the best friend. Of course, nobody knew how sad he was because he used to be cheerful even during the times of despair. He felt lonely and started to weep heartily but nobody heard him in his cheerful room.

The circus was closing and it was time for the clown to leave. He moved slowly and steadily, he finally made a decision after a very long time of hesitation. It's time to sleep! On his way, he kept singing and repeating:

"never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder, it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone"

The sad clown wanted to put an end to the pain he felt deep inside, he knew that life will end anyway. He stared at the railways and the speedy train. He did not hesitate, it was the right time to sleep. He closed his eyes and for the first time, he smiled for real; at last, he will feel peace.



Popular posts from this blog

Silence

I don't hear it, but I know it is talking to me, telling me about my falls and stands, dreams and nightmares, hopes and reality, and about people in my life and those who passed away. I am trying to ignore it; but deep down inside me, I know there is a part of me listing to it. Yet, sadness is an overwhelming burden that I am unwilling to take. It comes and brings all the unspoken words, the tears hidden by a fake smile, the pain in a seemingly happy heart, and the memories of the beloved ones who left us, whether on by or against their wills.
Hell, silence! What do you want me to do? It's over, it's okay for me like that... I don't want your noises to disturb my peace... or what seems to be like peace. I just realized that weeping is not the best way to overcome life. I have to stand, to fall, then STAND, then fall harder and harder, and then to STAND AGAIN! No matter what, I have to continue my journey, whether I like it or not, whether it is happy or not, and whether…

Secret

She was afraid to tell him the secret that she kept hidden for a long time. She was afraid that he may not understand her. She was afraid that she will lose him. Yet, his love was so secure that she never felt afraid when she was with him. He always supported her and cared for her. She believed him and trusted him. Yet, it took her time to reveal her secret.

She tried her best to be courageous enough to reveal her secret. It needed time and courage. The day she revealed her secret, he assured her it is ok. He still loved her and will always be with her.

Next day, he ignored her. She asked about him but he replied he wants to stay alone. She was shocked then she realized she was a fool again. She locked herself in her room, praying to God that she never trust anyone again! It is always trust that brings us pain!




Enemy

I feel lost and I cannot determine my way anymore. First time for me to fight but I am unable to win. You have no idea what is going on and you keep fighting and trying but at the end, you find it useless to fight! 

You fall and fall into the endless black hole where everything is dark and you cannot see anything. You scream for help but there is nothing...even an echo is too much to ask. You are alone in the darkness with your enemy.

This fight might be my last because my enemy is stronger...I know my weaknesses and so does my enemy. So, she keeps hurting me endlessly and she gains strength while I fall! Nowhere to hide, it is just me and her! 

She keeps saying there is no hope and I have to leave. I do not want to let her in control because I know how evil she is. But, the more I get hurt from her and people around, the weaker I get and the stronger she gets. 

Is it ok to give up and let her punishes everyone who hurts me?! Is it ok to forget about the light and stay in darkness? Is it …