Muse of Butterfly

I don't hear it, but I know it is talking to me, telling me about my falls and stands, dreams and nightmares, hopes and reality, and about people in my life and those who passed away. I am trying to ignore it; but deep down inside me, I know there is a part of me listing to it. Yet, sadness is an overwhelming burden that I am unwilling to take. It comes and brings all the unspoken words, the tears hidden by a fake smile, the pain in a seemingly happy heart, and the memories of the beloved ones who left us, whether on by or against their wills. Hell, silence! What do you want me to do? It's over, it's okay for me like that... I don't want your noises to disturb my peace... or what seems to be like peace. I just realized that weeping is not the best way to overcome life. I have to stand, to fall, then STAND, then fall harder and harder, and then to STAND AGAIN! No matter what, I have to continue my journey, whether I like it or not, whether it is happy or not, and w...

One of the most difficult times for the writers is the time when they lose their inspiration. They lose creativity, search for their muses, write many unpublished drafts, and cry in silence. In such times, writers may try to seek an inspiring spot where they can find their lost skill. Other writers, may evoke their pain to find inspiration. Few writers may quit writing! Quitting writing is a desperate resolution for the writers who lost their inspiration. They know that they want to avoid pain found in their writings, they seek peace, and they want to stop thinking. Yet, it is not an easy decision to quit writing, because writers know that a part of their existence is reflected in each word they write, in each moment of pain they share with their readers, in each time they realize the meaning of life through writing, and in each moment they shed a tear! My dear readers, it is not an easy decision to stop writing again, I stopped before for 6 or 7 years. But, my soul is no long...

She was afraid to tell him the secret that she kept hidden for a long time. She was afraid that he may not understand her. She was afraid that she will lose him. Yet, his love was so secure that she never felt afraid when she was with him. He always supported her and cared for her. She believed him and trusted him. Yet, it took her time to reveal her secret. She tried her best to be courageous enough to reveal her secret. It needed time and courage. The day she revealed her secret, he assured her it is ok. He still loved her and will always be with her. Next day, he ignored her. She asked about him but he replied he wants to stay alone. She was shocked then she realized she was a fool again. She locked herself in her room, praying to God that she never trust anyone again! It is always trust that brings us pain!

A little girl was walking with her mummy when it suddenly rained. The mother looked around for a shelter while the girl ran happily and tried to hug the raindrops. The mother ordered the little girl to come under the shelter but the little girl disobeyed the order and she kept playing under the rain till her clothes were completely wet.  Next day, th e girl was sick in her bed and her mother was blaming her for disobedience. The little girl said to her mother: “Ok if rain causes cold and we are not supposed to enjoy it; then why did God create it in the first place?” The mother could not answer. So, the little girl said: “ I’ll tell why, mummy, because God gives us choices, to enjoy raindrops and catch a cold or to find a shelter to avoid raindrops. My choice was to enjoy the rain, unlike you, and now I bear the results of my choice which I don’t regret. The problem mummy is that people forbidden the choices allowed by God. So, you may say that I disobeyed you but I did not diso...

"I wish to tell you my secret!" She whispered in the ears of her lover who was sleeping peacefully near her. She surrounded his waist with her arm and gently put her head on his shoulder. He felt her move; he kissed her hair softly while he was sleepy still. She sighed and closed her eyes. He held her closer and kissed her again. She looked into his eyes and smiled then moved up to kiss his lips. For a moment, they felt it like eternity, they felt peace and tranquility. Everything was in peace, it was heaven! Nothing to worry about except for... She wanted to tell him. He held her so tight to his body; she felt every inch of it and he felt hers. Then, they kissed intimately. She lost her mind and he lost his. Then, they started their journey to the eternity. Again, it was heaven! She rested her head again on his should and closed her eyes. Her tears dropped but she rubbed them quickly so that he could not notice or feel them. She wanted to tell him. Again, he held he...

I miss you When you're away I want to cry I miss you  When we kiss It's a mess I miss you When you hug me I completely surrender to you I miss you When you touch me I just melt I miss you When you're close I want a pause I miss you When you smile I hold you tight I miss you I love you I surrender to you!

When we kiss I feel happiness I feel excitement I feel alive When you hug me I seek warmth I escape to safety I feel alive When you touch me I feel fire I feel heaven I feel alive When you love me I feel your strong heartbeats I feel your warmth I feel alive When we cuddle I feel serenity I feel it like eternity I feel alive

With you, I fall in love again and again It is a joyful pain To feel your warmth To reach the point of extreme With you, I fall in love again and again I fall to the endless abyss I scream in pain and happiness I embrace heaven in your arms With you, I fall in love again and again It's just a moment of being To forget the mad universe To become our own universe With you, I fall in love again and again With you, I find safety With you, I find insanity With you, I find myself

Closer I need you The silent night will witness our love It will be like a prayer for the stars above Closer I need you Hold my hands and never let them go They melt when they touch you Closer I need you In my arms, I will hide you In your arms, I will surrender to you Closer I need you Forever I need you Oh, I just love you!

Godot: O! My God! Where is this girl? They told me that she will come after an hour and I've been waiting for a year! (walking away and he hears steps so he looks around but found nobody) Godot: I wanna go back home but I still have to wait for her! I already wasted a year waiting for her .. she should be here at any moment! I won't lose anything If i  waited for another hour! She may show up! (returning back to the same spot where he was waiting for the girl) (after 3 months) A boy: Are you Mr. Godot? Godot: Yes, it's me! A boy: This is a message for you! (The boy hands Godot the message and then he ran away) Godot: Hey! Wait! (The boy disappeared) (Godot reading the letter: " Dear Mr. Godot, I know you are waiting for me as I believe I'm the only person who is not waiting for you anymore. I made up my mind so I wont be included in your long waiting list anymore! I'm surprised why people should be wait for you while they know that you will not show up!!?? It...

The last thing she could feel was the coldness and gradually everything started to fall into darkness. She woke up in a place she couldn't realize. She also had that strange feeling that she never felt like it before. Yet, she resisted it strongly. She heard voices that at first, she couldn't recognize them; later, she recognized that these voices were of her family , relatives, friends and colleagues. They were talking about her being a unique person who truly loved every creature on earth. She never meant to hurt anybody. Actually, she rushed to help them whenever she could. Laughter and peace were always there wherever she was. They remembered all of her good deeds and the only mistake she did; as she could help everybody except herself. She heard a sigh and then silence. She smiled as people didn't realize what she was really doing. She helped herself by making them recall her deeds. For her, the only thing that Death can't take away is memories that remai...

What is time? Is it a memory from the past that lasts forever? Is it the present when we are facing the unknown? Is it the future consequence of the past and the present? I wonder and all that I know about time is that it makes us remember, learn, and die!!!

What will happen if Angels and Demons fall in love? What will happen if they distributed all the money in the universe equally among people? What will happen if all people walk naked in the streets? What will happen if people show their reality in front of each other? What if life is a dream and death is life? If people have wings, to where they will fly? What if we found everything around us nothing but a lie? Is death real? When will the universe fall apart? Have we been alive before? Who really control us?

It is just our fate to meet But not to fall in love They say it is a taboo To fall in love with someone  Who is different from you Different in color, sex, age, and religion Same species should fall in love But they don't know what is love  Love is challenging the taboo It doesn't distinguish between me and you It is just one way No return back A battle to win Love knows no loss Love is you and me It is a language between us No one will feel you but me No one will feel me but you It hurts both of us It melts both of us Love is both of us They don't know what is love  They are blinded by their rage They are nothing but a falling society They are falling apart They are the ones who should fall in love But, they don't know what is love

Oh! Another day in her boring life was here and she had to go through my daily routine! She looked at the mirror to see how boring she became! But, she found out that she became a completely different person who looks much much older than she used to be.  It really bothered her, not because she is getting older, which is a natural thing, but because she felt that she lost a p art of her existence and it was replaced with another thing. Yes, she lost the innocence and it was replaced by experience! The little child inside her is now becoming aware of true life and that's why she became a mature person. The little child was dreaming of a perfect world where people love and care for each other, dreams come true, and pain rarely occurs. She used to be happy, having no hard feelings, easily forgiving, and she used to be spontaneous, as she never thought that her actions or words can be misunderstood or twisted. The poor little girl had several tough lessons when she faced the real...

The clowns are lovely persons who make us laugh. They act stupidly while they are not stupid, they do childish actions while they are not childish, they seem to be always happy while they are not.  The clowns are amazing persons who have the ability to mask their tears with a fake smile or laughter. They sound happy and hardly people doubt that the se clowns can be sad. Their movements, their bright clothes, and amazing masks on their faces hide their reality. When they are left alone, they take their masks off to stare at the mirror to remember their true faces. They remain silent and dull. They walk away and cry. Yet, the next day people will see the clowns again in their masks and bright clothes and believe that these clowns are happy and cheerful. I wonder my dear reader, can you see that you are one of these clowns?

I am a traveling soul.  I travel inside myself to discover what I don't know about myself. I recently found that I lost my way. So instead of finding myself, I found my nightmares and illusions. Inside the deep dark self of mine, I was lost. I tried to pull myself all together but I failed...I tried again and again I failed! I shouted for help, b ut there is nobody to help. It's me and my dark self. I screamed and shouted but there is nothing but a painful echo of helpless screams and shouts! I needed you...I looked around but all that I found was myself...it's only then when I realized that I am all alone! Fear creates courage! So, I became powerful and strong enough to help myself! Now, I remember my past and I feel pain because I realized that you are nothing but a nightmare and I have to travel through you to return to the right track!

It's unpredictable! It's just here, there and everywhere! Like a cruel enemy, it attacks you, sometimes, when you don't expect it. There's no consideration for anything...it just proceeds with its mission which is taking your sole soul! No care for your beloved ones; it is the least care for death! Yet, sometimes, we feel it approaching...but we ca n't do anything to escape it...we only have to accept the harsh fact. It is Death! We all know that we'll have to face it one day. But, we don't know what will happen after that. Darkness, silence, and loneliness are what we'll get. You're alive but you can't prove it. You hear the weeping of your beloved ones and you feel their grief. Yet, you can't be there for them anymore! You also hear them about to leave and you're too scared to be left alone in the dark grave! You call them but dead people are not allowed to speak! A heavy silence falls and surrounds you. You start to weep; no tea...

In the darkness of the soul, we try hard to find a source of light. But when time passes and we fail to find light, we get used to the darkness. We keep like that for weeks, or months, or years. It is ok to get used to the darkness, you just adapt to it.  You feel fine when you're alone, you feel fine when you're sad, and you feel strong when you're in the darkness. You just realize it is a monotone in your life. It is ok! Then, out of nowhere, you're blinded by the sun! A huge amount of light that penetrates each dark corner inside your soul! It changes you completely and finally you feel hope! You're happy again, you're able to love, you're able to live, and you feel your weakness. It is ok!  Yet, you know that if the light withdraws again from you, you will fall apart! You will fall again in the painful journey of darkness! It will be time to face your demons again! Time of screams and fights that nobody will hear or witness except you! It is a fight...

Once, I was the queen of the whole world  I got control all over the world  Nothing could stop my ultimate powers  Nobody dared to face my powers  Suddenly, I became the queen of nothing  I lost everything  And it was too late  I committed a sin so it's time to face my fate I became a worrier and tried to defeat my enemies I defeated them in a merciless way except for one of my enemies I tried my best but I couldn't do it I tried, again and again, i failed to do it  I looked in his eyes asking for mercy And mercy was so much for someone who committed my sin So, I was killed by the hands of the one I loved Or as I call him my "sin" that I loved 

Recently, an idea popped up! I thought of it carefully and I have found it true, till now. The idea is that happiness is not a feeling that comes as a consequence of events or because something happened by a chance. It is what we make it "happen". To make happiness occurs in our lives, we need to believe it can "happen" and we can achieve our dreams! It's about believing in ourselves and persistence that creates a positive feeling that keeps us UP! We have to believe everything that happens in our lives can be turned to a positive thing. For instance, an outstanding experience in my personal life, I didn't get high marks in Economics and Statistics when I was a student in Thanwaya Ammaa (secondary school,) though it was one of the easiest subjects!! Accordingly, it affected my total score and I didn't go to the faculty I wished to join. I spent nights crying for my "failure" and cursing...

She looked at the mirror, then stared at it and she kept watching it carefully; the mirror reflected a frame of a female in her late 30s. What astonished her is that she was the lady painted in the frame! Is it possible to find out one day that you're nothing but a painting!? The lady studied the painting carefully, it was a painting of a lady wh o is trying to escape out the painting but she was imprisoned in a frame! The background was dark and there was nothing else except a female prisoner! The lady was extremely shocked as she thought herself to be a human being who has a life and a freedom to act! But, it was an illusion; she didn't have any! She started to weep, but no tears were shed! She was not designed to cry! She didn't have the right except if the painter would wish her to cry! It was her right to express her feelings yet it was too much for a painting! Suddenly, the painter came in the room and lit it. He kept staring at the painting, he wanted to h...

An old philosopher was on his way to a piano concert that he used to attend since last year. He remembered vividly how the young man was a clever pianist. There were harmony and passion driving the pianist, the philosopher smiled as he remembered. It seemed to him that the pianist and the piano were completing each other; the soft tones and the harmonious  feelings were shared by all the audience and they all felt the same. It was a music that united all the people. It made him, the philosopher, forgets about the wars, hunger, hatred and terror that surrounds the world. All that he could recall at that time was peace, love, and harmony.  The concert started, as soon as the young pianist appeared on the stage, the philosopher knew that this concert will not be like the one before. The eyes of the young pianist lacked the passion that existed the last time, the ancient black piano was replaced by white modern one and the pianist's way of was walking also changed! The philo...

A conversation between Heart and Mind: Heart  (the voice of heart was trying to sound strong as it knows that it disobeyed the mind) : Is it ok to feel pain again?  Mind (in a confident tone): Yes, when you are stupid to spontaneously! You did again! Heart (trying to be strong): I just wanted to feel love! It's my job, Mind! Mind (in arrogant tone): And it is my job to stop you, Heart! Stop you from hurting yourself and causing me a headache! Oh, God! Do you know how much pain killers I need to stop such a headache, you fool! Heart (in a weak voice): I am sorry. I am sorry but I wanted to be happy, Mind! Just to be happy. Isn't my right to be happy? I see couples everyday and I feel lonely, too lonely! I have a lot of feelings to give but there is nobody, you know! Mind (in a tolerant tone): I understand! But, she (referring to the owner of the h eart and mind) needs the right person! You are leading her to hell again! You know she will be misreable and we cannot ...

On a rainy day, a very lovely and smart girl was standing nearby the bus station where she met a boy who attracted her attention, she didn't know why but she really admired him. Well, as he was dumb (she didn't know so,) she was the one who started chatting with him. They had many things in common so they kept meeting nearby the bus station. The poor girl wanted to go w ith the dump guy on a date but she was too shy to ask him out. So, she started to bring gifts to him so that he may notice her admiration. But, days passed before she realized that she wasted her money on gifts! Well, he was kind enough to bring her a rose each time she brings him a gift! The girl felt disappointed and decided to drop the whole matter. Years passed since that and one day the girl was walking nearby the station where she accidentally met the guy who rushed to her. He told her that he was worried about her and that he cared a lot but he never knew how to contact her. The girl said it is ok. The b...

Like a free bird I can fly  In the wide blue warm sky  But still that doesn't mean I'm completely free  I don't know about the Beyond!  So, I can't guarantee that tom. I'll be there  Or even guarantee that tom. 'll be there  So, dont believe liars who say that we are free!  There is still that thing called our fate  That's why we will always have limitations and no guarantees We are the puppets of fate! Even our love babe, it can't be guaranteed! The only thing I guarantee Is this very moment  While you are in my arms I'll do my best to make our love survive forever But as you know, there are no guarantees EVER!

لا تتركني بدون خفقان قلبك  و ما الحياة بدون دقات قلبك!؟  فهي التي تخبرني انك تحبني  و ترشدني في بحور عينيك  و تتركني حائرة بين ذراعيك حتي اجد كياني في دفء ذراعيك و يصبح الحب في كياني كما في كيانك و تحرقني الاشواق و أنسي نفسي حتي ترجعني علي الارض دقات قلبك! 

It seems like dreamy memories though they were true a long time ago but they are fading away like smoke. Memories are there in our hearts, deep-rooted, and they hurt when you remember them in hard times. There is always a nostalgia for the past; free life with fewer responsibilities, with less sadness, with fewer duties, with fewer realizations, and wi th fewer deaths! We remember the minimum details of these memories and they shockingly remain vivid as if they occurred yesterday. Maybe a memory of a friend, family member, ice cream, toy, place, etc.  First, they bring a smile on your face. Then, we compare the present and the past to find our tears are shed! Is it because we miss these days? Is it because our present is tough? Is it because we are adults now? Many reasons but no specific answer! We rarely care about the answer, I think. We just keep these precious memories inside our hearts but we do not realize that today is going to be a memory as well. So, we 've to ...

لا ترحل بعيدا عني  فأنت جزء مني  و انت الالهام لفني  و انت لي مستقبلي و حاضري  أنا لك طوال ما حييت  لن اتركك مهما حييت  فأنا بدونك جسد بلا روح  دنيا بلا بشر نهر بلا ماء سماء بلا الوان جسد بلا روح لمسة ايديك تحييني همساتك تحرقني نظراتك تغمرني بسمتك تقتلني لكم حاولت ان اقول لك كم من الحب اكنه لك و لكن لا أجد كلمات توصف حبي لك فالكلمات عاجزة امام عينيك و حاولت جاهدة عن سري ان ابوح و لكن حبيبي ان تدرك ما في الروح فاتساقط في خضوع في احضانك كل شيء يزول و لا يبقي شيئا الا حبك في الروح

Take my hand and let's dance Under the moon and on the sand Each other is what we need No matter people blame us for this need For so long I've been waiting for you And now all that I've is you So, please cure the pain And promise never to let me feel it again Let me see in your eyes the love I searched for Let me feel in your arms the love I prayed for Let me forget the whole world Now you're my world! All that I want now is to dance Under the moon and on the sand You're the soft music And the moves that create the dance Your love is my last chance Without it my soul has no chance To survive the cruel world I told you, you're my world!

Once there was a beautiful butterfly which was attracted to everything that seems to be sweet for her. So, in a starry but a cold night, the butterfly was flying when she saw a window of a very dark room except for the warm light of a very stunning candle. Thus, she thought that she'll find warmth in such cold night; the pretty butterfly rushed t o the candle's light, although the weather started to be windy, but she fought hard to reach the candle's light. The butterfly was over the moon when she could do it. The weather started to get colder and it rained heavily; so the butterfly started to shake although it wasn't her first time to face such a malicious weather. At the same time, it was her first time to see and feel the warmth of a candle's light. So, the beautiful butterfly rushed to the warmth of the light of the candle innocently to experience for the first time the candle's warmth. The weather got colder so the butterfly became closer to the ...